inadequacies of a SAHM – part 1

According to the weekly toddler updates that I get on my phone, I have officially been a mama for 15 months and 1 week. This season has been nothing short of blessed, and while motherhood holds its own unique challenges, they are nothing compared to the incredible privilege it is to love and be loved by a little.

Today I was reflecting back over the past several months of being a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) and thinking of the emotional pendulum swings that I have experienced in this role. I feel that for myself there are two extremes that I have set up camp in; and unfortunately, neither is healthy. I wanted to share these experiences with you so that 1) you can avoid these extremes altogether, and/or 2) you can recognize if you start to fall into one of these traps.

inadequacies of a SAHM - part 1

So read on, mama, and let the Lord remove any of these inadequacies that so easily overwhelm… ♥

inadequacies of a SAHM - part 1

Inadequacy per the World

Early on in my mothering-experience, I struggled with feeling that I was spinning my wheels and wasting my talents as I stayed at home with a young infant. I knew all the cliché things that people say to SAHMs to help them feel that they are making a difference, and I even agreed with all of those things! I KNEW it was important to raise the next generation. I KNEW that I could glorify God by exemplifying Christ to my children. I KNEW that I was blessing my husband by keeping up with our home. Yet, I felt like I was capable of doing all of those things AND something more. The problem was that I didn’t know what that “more” was.

But here’s what had happened: I fell into one of the lies of our society – SAHMs (in that role alone) contribute nothing to this world. I mean, I used to work with kids who had cancer! Surely that was more praiseworthy and honorable! In this season, I even questioned whether I would be more useful to the Lord if I was out doing some sort of ministry or selfless and sacrificial task for God.

Well, guess what? It’s just not true! I understand (and highly respect) that sometimes women are called to balance more than just maintaining a home, being a wife, and/or raising their children. In fact, in the future, I may have to do this very thing. But far beyond working or not working, we are called to be mothers to our children – to love them, to nurture them, to teach them, and to mold them into followers of Christ. And somehow, in the great scheme of things, this responsibility ALONE is to be praised and held in high regard. Perhaps society does not find value in this “job” but I know that my Father in heaven does. And that’s all that matters anyways.

“And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:3)

So to anyone who has felt inadequate in your role of SAHM, to anyone who has wondered what your “more” is, look down and look around. These precious souls entrusted to your care are of infinite value to your Father in heaven (Luke 12:6-7). And He has chosen YOU as the instrument to speak truth and love and mercy and grace over them day-in and day-out. Mama, it is hard. But it is of more value than you or I could ever comprehend. One day, we will stand before our Father in heaven. May we hear His words from Matthew 25:21:

“Well done, good and faithful servant.”

So when the world comes to you with its list of your inadequacies and your lack of “contributions,” remember that your value is not found in its opinions of you or your job of raising your littles. Value is something that can only be found through Jesus.

Keep your eyes on Him and the finish line that He has placed before you. Each of us has a different call and task in life. I may be running a different race than you and my obstacles may look different than yours, but that doesn’t discredit my race or yours. We have to live our lives before the Lord as the one and only Judge of our race. May He find us faithful and true to the things that He has entrusted into our care for these decades that we live on earth. And in the process, may our lives be living testimonies of the power of the Holy Spirit, who enables us to run with courage and dignity – even when we are running against the natural flow of the world.

May the Lord continue to speak into our lives and challenge us to stop striving after the standards the world has set and instead rest in this role He has called us to as mothers! And at the end of our lives, I pray that our children rise up and call us blessed for our faithfulness to God and His call over our lives (Proverbs 31:28). ♥

Be blessed, mama!

Grace and peace!

– Alex ✌️

Message me below with your own testimonies or lessons you have learned as a SAHM!

Also, check out part 2: “inadequacies of a SAHM – part 2

inadequacies of a SAHM - part 1

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7 thoughts on “inadequacies of a SAHM – part 1

  1. While I’m not a SAHM full time, I work a lighter schedule than most FT working moms. It’s hard to balance both lives as well and the job I have is not really making a difference,its just a paycheck to pay our bills. I also find that it leaves me with a lot of inadequate feelings but over the last 18 months that I’ve worked there I’ve come to realize its just what I need to do for now. Maybe I’m helping mold my son into a better person and HE will become something great and help others because of what I’m doing now. Just my own thoughts at least. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re doing an amazing job, mama! There no “one-size-fits-all” for mommies. I’ll bet your son will learn the values of hard work, faithfulness, provision, and hard work because of you! You are the best mother he could have!


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